“BAD GIRLS” ROCK!!

We live in a world of total hypocrisy. Where most of us would rather suffer in silence than speak out and be labelled as trouble makers. This attitude is even worse among the women. You see, when growing up, we are taught that good girls behave in a certain way. That good girls speak softly. That good girls sit in a certain way, walk in a certain way. Heck my High school even had a rule that, “ladies (read good girls) do not run, they walk fast”. Yes, my secret is out! I always walk so fast because of conditioning *Steph. If Pavlov saw me today, he would be so proud of me.

From an early age, our socialization dictates that good girls must stay put in times of trouble; simply because that’s the quality that defines there strength. It’s the quality that hides their shame. Ultimately, we end up suffering, just because we do not want to be labelled “bad”. A girl gets raped and she is conditioned not to speak out because if she does, she might just be accused of having provoked her rapist. So she stays silent and bears the pain with “dignity”. Meanwhile, the same man eyes her daughter as his next target. Another woman is battered by the husband, but she would rather be killed that bear the shame of a divorce. After all, hers was a church wedding. And are you the person with the best leadership quality in your family? Sorry dear! You cannot vie for that political position. You must step down for your brother. Since when did women become the leaders of a community? “Abomination! Abomination!” The tribal elders will say.

Unfortunately, we grow up seeing ‘bad girls’ get everything. In primary school, bad girls get the best desks. They don’t do the worst manual jobs. And if it’s in a boarding school, good girls sleep on the top bunk, regardless of whether they wet the bed (there is a special place in hell for all those top bunk girls who peed on their innocent bed mates). And finally bad girls in primary school speak out against teachers who pinch their tender thighs.

In high school, bad girls get the best drama Club spots. They get letters from favorite boys’ high school (total esteem booster). Heck! They even get featured in the Insyder Magazine, which is basically the Vanity Fair…the Cosmopolitan…the Elle magazine for students in High schools in Kenya. You get featured in it and your high school life is never the same. And in matters stomach, bad high school girls know how to coax top layer and extra meat out of the school cooks. Yummy!

In University, bad girls find jobs with the local radio Station …. Make You tube Video detailing their class room fashion for everyday (And actually get 1 million views which simply translates to ad revenues), simply because they have a lifestyle to maintain. And it costs money. Bad girls find a smart way to blackmail the flirtatious male lecturer so that he won’t deny them their hard earned marks (Instead of failing a course 5 times just because the lecturer believes in an extra-curricular mode of qualification). Bad girls wear Kitenge (What Kenyan women are now calling Ankara …haha!), complete with a head scarf. Then she fakes a Nigerian accent, attends a high profile African Union meeting and sit in the front row marked ‘Delegates’, simply because she recognizes a unique opportunity to network and a get job equal to the International relations degree her parents sold a ‘kaploti’ for.

Later as Career women, “bad girls” know how to negotiate for promotions without batting an eye. Famously known as bitches, they speak out what everyone else is thinking but not saying. They do not suck up to their bosses to get what is rightfully theirs and no, brother! She won’t be vying for the deputy position of the Board. She will be going for the chairmanship…simply because she is equally qualified.

As a working woman in the civil society, and a good-girl-turn-bad to boost, I find it hard to stand hypocritical hero worshiping of people in power for favours. Especially if I am qualified for the job. Because deep down, I know that I would make the worst candidate for a cultist recruitment. And looking at the women I have described above, you notice how our socialization has successful substituted the phrase “go getters” for “bad girls”.

Oh, well! As we start 2016, this article is a celebration of all the “bad girls” out there. Keep on doing what you do best! And while at it, inspire the “good girls” around you to turn “bad”. We must not rest until we change the hypocritical world definition of a woman who goes for what she wants. Like Beyoncé says, “We have to teach our boys the rules of equality and respect, so that as they grow up gender equality becomes a natural way of life. And we have to teach our girls that they can reach as high as humanly possible.” I am out!

Wishing all of you an awesome 2016!